Confused and content...

I don’t understand it. I don’t even pretend to understand it. Anyone else and I’d be the pull, the push, the drive behind it. And then he comes along. I keep thinking the same way… but when he walks in the room it all flies out the window. All the urges that seem to be automatic in me disappear. Well, not all of them but enough of them. I could push, I could take it over, but Instead I have this overwhelming sense of giving in, giving up, giving over to him. I’m beyond myself trying to understand it. I keep thinking this next time it’ll be my way… and 15 seconds into it, I’m craving it – whatever you want, however you want. Toss me and tease me, taste me and turn me…take me. I’ve wandered off the map and I’m not sure where I am. The streets all have the right names, but are going in opposite directions, the compass faces due south, and the world has turned upside down. I suspected it might happen some day and I would struggle through it –but I was wrong. It is happening, I’m beyond content, it’s a fulfilling excitement; I feel precious, female, worshipped and adored. Its an amazing thing... and it completes me.